I’ve highlighted some terrible Harry Potter Fan Fiction. I’ve highlighted some really awful Lord of the Rings fan fiction. Could it get any worse?
Yep. Welcome to the world of extremely bad 24 Fan Fiction.
24 was a popular TV Show on the FOX Network. It debuted on November 6, 2001, shortly after the September 11 terrorist attacks.
The show followed a simple format. Each episode tracked one hour in the day of Jack Bauer, the hero.
Here, as promised, is some terrible Fan Fiction. I hope it came out ok, especially with the images. I had problems taking a screenshot on my Mac with some of them.
24 : The Revenge of The power station launch codes
The following takes place between 8:00 and 7 pm
On a cold September, after his great adventures, Jack was wondering what to do that week. He had picked up his life from where he left it and wanted to make something from it. Then all the sudden a strange woman appeared on Jack’s doorstep. She was hidden beneath a long cloak and had long brown nails on her fingers. Her dirty hair fluished down from beneath the cloak and she had glowing eyes!
“You are not who you think you are!” said the strange woman.
“What do you mean?” said Jack
“You are not who you think you are,” she said again with a mysterious crackling voice like a bad radio transmission.
“I still don’t understand you?” said Jack Bauer.
“Here, take this,” she said and gave Jack an alarm clock.
“Take this and give it to your parents or guardian, they will know what to do with it!”
And with that she disappeared before Bauer’s eyes!
Bauer was confused but thought that he had to do something. But rather than going to his parents or guardian, Jack decided to show it to Aaron Pierce.
“Oh no,” said Aaron Pierce, “you must forget about this!”
“Why?” enquired Jack Bauer, “what do you know?!”
“I… I can’t tell you. My dear Jack, I didn’t think it would be this soon!”
“What?!” yelled Bauer, “are you keeping things away from me?!”
“It’s …. it’s for your own good! You cannot know this!” said Aaron Pierce and before Jack could do anything, Aaron Pierce had escaped his grasp.
“No! Dammit! When will I ever know the truth?!”
Jack was feeling depressed. One of his best friends abandoned and betrayed him. It hurt. So Bauer wanted to find Jillian Fibbs. After their adventure, Jack and Jillian Fibbs had been spending a lot of time together. Jack kind of started to like her.
So Jack went to Jillian Fibbs and told the whole story. She listened to Bauer without saying a single word.
Then she said: “WTF, this is sooo big”
And Jack said: I know! Do you know a way to find out what is happening? Why is everyone hiding things from me?!”
Jillian Fibbs sighed and said: “You have always been special, Jack and not just to me.”
“How do you know that?”
Jillian Fibbs looked at the teddy Bear that Jack had received and said: “it kind of looks like the power station launch codes, doesn’t it?”
“could be…but it might not be…but, yeah,certainly it might be”
“Whatever it is, I can recognise it quite well. And I think,” Jillian Fibbs said, “that perhaps the mysterious woman wanted you to find something inside of you.
“Inside? Like my heart?”
“No, don’t be silly, like a mamory. Think about it, if your parents lied to you and now Aaron Pierce doesn’t want to talk to you about your background, perhaps there is a hidden memory in your head!”
Jillian’s logic was flawless. So Jack had to try it!
So Jack Bauer concentrated on the object. immeditately he felt drawn into it. It stated ouit as a vague, fuzzy thing like when you wear glasses and there is a lot of moisture in the air and you see a TV on the horizon.
But then it turned out that there was a secret memory, hidden beneath the vail layer of self-loving in his head.
And within that memory, a burning figure appeared. It was the terrorists! In hell…
Jack was confused. He didn’t think that memory would be in there, and yet it was there, burning like the heart of a newborn star and the centre of the earth.
“You know, I think the terrorist’s naphew would be better bustier don’t you think?” said Jillian.
“No, you have to understand he is longer than some Gameboys.” replied Jillian.
“What ARE you talking about?” said Jack.
And they all laughed.
Suddenly, meanwhile, Kim got kidnapped!
Jack had to rescue her so they could live happly ever after again!.
He had to get her back quickly because he was on the run again from CTU…OMG!!!.
Suddenly Tony appeared from a sewer (like the Turtles!!! You know, i might do a crossover one day! ~ ED.’
‘”Jack! I must give you this”‘
Jack was handed a Star Of David.
‘”This is VERY important! I have to go! All will be explained later”‘
(Maybe in parts 5 or 9, if I have time,24 kinda sucks really, Im going to do my story over 72 hours and 13 parts. But to make it easier ill skip the boring things by not makeing it real time! Neat idea or wot?)
Our heroes arrived at the central district.
“How will we find where he is based in this big city?”
“We will never find him.”
“Maybe not, look…there!”
Behind them was a massive blimp sign with the terrorists Corp scribbled upon it in bold .
So they found where he was,and entered the spaceelivator…
As they entered, it was strangely and creepily abandoned.
“Come on” said Jack Bauer
“Right behind you” said Jillian Fibbs bravely steping forward
..and then they went on their way!
“Lets take the ventalation shaft!”
“Thats a good plan, so we can sneak to the roof undetected”
So they got into the ventilation shaft.
Jillian Fibbs was shy, but decided to remove all her cloths anyway. Jillian Fibbs noticed Jacks erection, but didnt say anything They traveled upto the roof, ver the ducks, thus avoiding the security systems because they are smart.
We are here, said Jack Bauer crawling out the duck, and putting his shirt on.
“So you have come” said a voice booming from the sky
A hot air-balloon appeared above them.
The terrorists laughed at them from it.
“Ha Ha Ha Ha”
“I could gun you all down from here with my ak-74, but I would rather do this…personal style.”
he leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop
“Ready?” he said, still laughing.
Jack Bauer removed his shirt and flexed his abs.
“Yes. I am ready. ”
With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing (which were littoral machettes).
“I kill you dead”
the terrorists head butted Jack in the chest
Bauer fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.
“Ha Ha Ha Ha” laughed the terrorists
“You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?”
“I had too, for all that is good and just in the world.”
“Well now you will die. Goodbye.”
the terrorists leaned over Jack holding a large rock.
“Quick Jack Bauer use this!” said Jillian Fibbs, chucking a nearby sussage towards Bauer.
Bauer grabbed it and chucked it towards the terrorists hard, knocking him backwards….off the edge of the tall skyscrapper they were on!
“Goodbye, the terrorists have a nice fall!”
“We are safe now, he fell to certain doom.”
Tony and Aaron Pierce got out from the bush where they were cuddleing. “Thank you, you saved us all”
“Dont mention it.”
So they left the tower and went home. They lived happily ever after and had lots of kids.