Extremely Bad Game of Thrones Fan Fiction

Game of Thrones season 7 is now done and gone, leaving us to wait for the final season to arrive. The wait might be long. Longer than Winter.

All we’re left to do is ponder season 7’s storylines and this interesting finding from the Telegraph that season 7 was the least naked. Only 6 naked people this season–compared to 33 from season 1!

If you haven’t seen all of season 7 yet, you can watch it on HBO Go (if you’re a subscriber), or find it streamed on CouchTuner and its alternative sites.

In the meantime, here is some extremely bad fan fiction about Game of Thrones to keep you occupied. That is, if you dare to read it. It centers on Arya and imagines how things might play out if she, Bran, Sansa and Robb were all reunited.


Arya Strikes Out

It was a dark and snowy night. Arya had been bored, so bored, you wouldn’t believe it.
She had been there together in the room with Bran and Sansa. Normally they could perfectly entertain each other(as they very much did each other the night before), but not this time. And to make matters worse, it was almost impossible to go to town. It was too snowy, too dark.

“Urgh,” said Bran, “I wish King Goffrey would attack. At least we’d have something to do.”

Sansa agreed, “I agree,” she said and started throwing mobile phone at the wall, just to catch it again when it bounced off. “Uuuurgh,” she then said as well, because she agreed with Bran, “Don’t you know anything to do, Arya?”

“Well, I could do you again.” Arya said who felt very lesbian at that moment.
Sansa liked that very much and for a moment, they did each other (under the aproving gaze of Bran who whipped out his Tool and played along on the beat of the others.
But admittedly, that only entertained them for the next three hours. Something else had to be found, Arya knew

Arya’s gaze went down the room, past Crusifix and a stack of anime collections. Then Her eye fell onto a lone empty bottle they had used the evening before.

I know,” said Arya, “How about we play……………spin…the….BOTTLE!”

“What a superb idea”

“Oh year!”

Brienne and Robb also peaked up “Yeaaaah!”

So they all sad down and Arya took the bottle first. Hilariously, it landed on Robb, but Arya thought Robb was quite a bit too creepy and really didn’t want to kiss the man. She hoped the others might have mistook it for landing on Sansa, but judging the howls of laughter and the rising anticrepation in the room, they probably didn’t.

“But but don’t you all see it really landed on Sansa?”

“Laaawl no, u shuld kiss Robb,” said Sansa. The fact that she said it made Arya feel rejected 😦

But then, all the sudden…. King Goffrey attacked!

Arya and her team went carefully through Winterfell. Arya looked very sexy, Her nipples perked, firm and erect. Her leather coat bilbogged in the breeze, extrapolating Her sex mess. “It is time”, She said, Her voice having a British nationality.

“Yes, It is time to defeat King Goffrey once and for all.” said Robb . He wore a Black corset covered in roses and a nice hat. His nails were iridescent black and he had a ruby skull ring on.He looked as hot as a Chilli!

And then they rushed into the base. Brienne roundhouse kicked a mook and then punched one with her glock. It exploded and she held up her middle finger to the explosion. Brienne then used her holy holy magics and summoned a giant bloody cross scythe that glowed black. She sliced everyone but it was okay because she dodged her friend. Blood spurted and went on everything, making a star of david one the walls. A rock bounced off King Goffrey as he entered, LOOKING FUCKING PISSSSED.

“How dared you! I will kill u!!!!!!111!!!” he shoouted and took out a flame thrower (A/N geddit?)

The fight was epic. Things burned black. Brienne and King Goffrey got distracted and started kissing in the corner but then one died.

Arya ejaculated at the King Goffrey, “LOOK BEHIND YOU!”

And then he looked and Arya ripped him in half.

The End


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